Pets!

One day, during my moments of self-imposed leisure, I picked on Saqunthalla, my co-worker, to ramble off my dismal views about people who spend valuable time on pets.

Saqunthalla is barely 28 years old. She had come over to Chennai from a town in North India to stay in a Women’s Hostel and works with me in a BPO. Well disposed financially and family-wise, she had spent her years always with her parents and sibling and had never encountered the necessity of editing her wishes.

Caught unawares, and knowing my pre-disposition for self-initiated conversations with people close to my heart and dreading the lengths to which such conversations would take, she could not hide her apprehension initially. She recovered dramatically when she found the subject not too complex and gleefully suggested that I should also bear in mind that the poor animals also needed love, affection and care – continuing to a point where she told me that if only I had ever had a pet, I would have known the joy and satisfaction of rearing one! I then related to her the story of my pet and me!

I was 20 years old and sinking into a great depression caused by a catastrophic college life, terminated pre-maturely by forces not my own.

I had an innate love for animals and viewed them as cousins of mankind, each with their own family, feelings, language and culture. I would look for the entire family of any animal which sought to draw my attention! Among the wild ones, I could see the connection between parents and children, I could witness reunions among fathers and sons, mothers and daughters – each a revelation, since such reunions would take place in the most volatile situations like over a fight for food – the father would allow the son to feed alongside with him!

It was the plight of domesticated animals which wrenched my soul. Calves would be sold off after they were weaned, so were the pedigree dogs and cats. I knew precious little about the birds, I guess the chicks were sold off after they hatched!

I had heard of the stories of dogs, the acts of their courage and of their faithfulness to their masters and particularly of the Dobermann Pinschers who obeyed only one master!

I was very far from my parents and sibling emotionally and they reacted with disdain at my quirky behavior, which hurt me even more. In moments when their conscience was disturbed from slumber, they sought to indulge me financially and I ended up buying a Dobermann pup for a hefty sum.

I remember vividly, the day, and it was about 9 a.m when I brought the puppy home. She was a black and tan Dobermann and was 3 weeks old and had just been weaned – more by the breeder than by the mother. The mother was huge, a monster! Her ferocious look with pointed ears and short stub of a tail gave her a no-nonsense look….it impressed me so much… I was taking home a little monster that would one day be as big and ferocious and obey me only…nobody would then dare to be unkind to me for they would then face the wrath of my Dobermann!!

I named her Darling.

My day would start with feeding Darling, the day would pass feeding and grooming Darling and the day would end with me and Darling cuddled up in bed on the terrace. Vaccination schedules could never have been more religiously followed. Deworming and tick powders were done in the state of the art fashion. I took special care to choose her shampoos and her towels, of course I would heat the water to the most comfortable temperature. I would pick up fresh beef at the butcher’s at 10 a.m and proceed to boil it with the rice and the bones over a slow fire to avoid nutrient loss. It would be 2 hours before the rice and beef was done and I would put the content on to her plate and sit by the side for an hour stirring the content till it cooled. I would remove her droppings in the garden to avoid any adverse comment from my family.

As she grew, I too grew stronger psychologically and I moved with her to my village to pursue my date with Nature. Time passed at a leisurely pace and I had all the time to spend with Darling. She grew rapidly on a fantastic diet of eggs, fresh milk and beef with the choicest bones. She had the fortune of having the biggest play area any Dobermann could hope to have, atleast in India. My village was situated on the banks of the river Kollidam. She could run over the vast expanse of the riverbed and even learnt to navigate through the streams which dotted the river-bed.

During my sporadic visits to Chennai by train, I would bring Darling with me in the brake-van which had a cage. Darling was a sensation with her great looks and imposing personality and her obedience to my every gesture was a rare treat to watch! Her strutting and sprinting and her sqatting with her hind legs tucked under her and her paws extended in front with head held high with ears upright were a sight to behold. I was her world and she was mine. I found a suitable stud to match her and she gave birth to 3 puppies which I gave away to her admirers.

We lived happily together until one day she fell ill. For a few weeks she refused to eat and seemed to be in pain. I took her to the vet who confirmed liver cirrhosis in terminal stage. It was a great shock to me and I could not muster the courage to ask him “ how long before the inevitable?”

The vet provided her a huge vial of mineral injection. She perked up immediately and seemed to be devoid of her pain altogether. She sat in her characteristic pose with her hind legs tucked beneath her and her paws extended in front. I was both confused and excited at the same time and poured a packet of milk into her plate and knelt down to hold it in front of her mouth. She continued to gaze at me steadily without caring for the milk. There was something so deep in her look that disturbed me. As I spoke to her endearingly, she seemed to be conveying something to me in silence.

I placed the plate on the ground and leaned forward. I took her head in my palms and she in turn dug her head into my palms and rubbed it from side to side. Her head then turned finally with her right cheek on my palms and her eyes closed… never to open again. In a moment, she was dead.

I had lost my closest partner and now what next, if any?

Today, 10 years after her death, I have 3 pets at home…my mom, wife and son! For many months after her death, I brooded over her life on earth… and my time with her… I had invited her into my life and had gone through the pain of parting..and she had felt it too.. maybe it was all an unnecessary waste of time..it should never have been allowed to happen…maybe I should have worked harder instead to care for my own family whom destiny had linked me with…there would still be the pain of parting but then that would have been in the line of duty rather than in the pursuit of mindless passion…atleast in my case… and in the case of most others..I am sure!

Saqunthalla seemed to be more overwhelmed with the depth of my emotional attachment with Darling ! So I will continue this discussion with her another day to know her views about my current pets!!